Making Life Better!
Uncovering The Issues
What Do We Mean By Relationships?
When we think of relationships, one may usually be drawn to the stereotypical man-woman union and when we consider, that for most of us, the union between a man and a woman, in matrimony or not, is usually the longest and strongest relationship that most of us will ever have. Of course, we live in a more liberal world these days, thankfully, and the relationship of same-sex couples takes on all the same attributes and complexities of the former. Although sometimes the difficulty, in my experience as a therapist, often comes from outside of the relationship in the form of prejudice and bias by others, e.g. parents, friends, bosses and, in a more general sense, society at large.
All relationships are slightly different and the one emotion that connects them all is the emotion we call love. But it is easy to see that love is not just one emotion, think of the love you have for your parents or your children, very clearly a different type of love you have for your spouse. Sexual intimacy is the major driver of this difference and sex creates such an overwhelming love experience, that it can both empower and disempower us, people have killed over the negative emotions of a relationship breakdown course, there are many different types of relationships to consider and all equally as important, e.g. parents, children, friends, colleagues, even casual ones too. And the last but by no means least, in fact, it is the most important of all; is the relationship with one's self.
Without a doubt, the relationship that I deal with the most, in therapeutic terms, is the relationship with ourselves because, when that relationship is poor, it very often spills out into the totality of our life. That aside, one of the most frequent issues that bring people to therapy for a relationship issue, is the relationship between two people, the love relationship! It is often a deterioration, over time, in communication, trust or finances, that a breakdown arises. However, it can also be because of specific circumstances, e.g. ones need not being met, infidelity, anxiety, stress, depression (often over the long term), jealousy, bereavement and many other kinds of chronic life challenging matters,
It has been my experience that when you help a person or persons improve their sense of self and the inevitable “self-relationship” within that dynamic, all other relationships take on a different perspective and that just makes life, love and relationships seem that little bit easier. And if you think of it, if the cause is related to any of the above, helping the client with any personal challenges they have, will often evoke compassion and love by the other towards their common objective!
However, working with couples can often be quite challenging and the functionality of their two minds is usually the major component for finding the, or a, solution! Very often it is not what other people think of us that causes the issues we face but rather what we think they think! The logic appears to be, if we do not think much of our-self, why should anyone else? And there is a certain truth to that, although not the truth as we know it but rather the truth as we believe it to be. So, naturally, when we improve the way we feel and think about our own self; all other perspectives usually follow that line!
If you are in a relationship that is failing or moving towards difficulty, why not come in for a free consultation?