We often hear people say, "think out of the box" although sometimes we need to consider going deeper into the box because it is inside the box where the prejudice, the bias and the judgment got its roots . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I love this story because it so accurately expresses the way people think and how their prejudice is a result of their bias which then leads to judgment. From a therapeutic perspective, nowhere is that more apparent than in clients who lack confidence, low self-esteem or low self-worth. For example, the client who is intellectually brilliant yet sees himself as stupid because he has a lot of anger, anger directed at his family without real cause. He knows it's not right, he knows he shouldn't do it, nevertheless, he continues to express anger at his family. In part, he is trying (because it is difficult) to control his anger. He is using the conscious skills of, logic, reason, analysis, to resolve subconscious processing that does not often respond effectively to cognitive processes. Anger is an emotion and you manage emotion through emotion. That is not to say that logic and consciousness are not involved, merely that emotional evaluation of conscious awareness is more effective if you are dealing with the mind, from within the mind!
Yes indeed, you think, therefore you are, apparently, but, it doesn't always mean you are right! Sometimes it helps to step back, take a few moments to consider if there are alternatives, could there be another more practical or illogical reason. The better the information, the greater the chance of a more sound conclusion. If you want to know something, sometimes it's as simple as asking as this story so eloquently demonstrates.
Hypnosis is as close as you can get to the language of the brain, which is what we call "mind.". A direct all-access pass to the operating system of life, aka, the way the brain works. So, the best way to get more out of your brain is to learn how yours works, in comparison to the "norm." This is simply because, while all brains are relatively anatomically identical; no two brains are alike. Your life experience and genetics determine the way your brain wires itself. Hypnosis helps you to rewire the mind, in a way that works best for you!
The objective here is to help people understand how and why we become illogically trapped into irrational emotional experiences that may actually be happening for reasons different to that which we would imagine! If you want to know more about how Hypnotherapy can help you; why not make an appointment for a Free Consultation?
The late Bill Love used to tell the story of a psychiatrist, engineer, and doctor who got lost in the Canadian woods. Stumbling on a trapper’s cabin but getting no response at the door, they went inside for shelter and waited for his return.
In the corner, on a crude platform at the waist-high level, was a wood-burning stove. It quickly became not only the focus of interest for their half-frozen bodies but the centre of their conversation as well.
The psychiatrist explained the stove’s unusual position as evidence of psychological problems brought on by isolation. The engineer, on the other hand, saw it as an ingenious form of forced-air heating. The physician surmised the poor fellow had arthritis and found it too painful to bend over to fuel his stove.
When the trapper finally arrived, they could not resist asking about the stove whose warmth had saved them. “Simple,” he said. “My stove pipe was too short.”
It wasn’t along for that hunting trip, but I’ve been where those guys were that day. I’ve tried to read someone’s mind. I’ve seen motives that weren’t there. I’ve walked into situations, caught a snippet of what was happening, and made a fool of myself by some badly chosen response. Or I’ve used a perfectly innocent slip of the tongue as my excuse to take offence. I can be a real jerk at times!
On occasion, the victim has been a stranger. At other times, it was a friend from church or colleague at work. Most often, it has been my wife or child.
Communication is a wonderful thing – when it happens. But there are so many barriers. Each of us brings baggage to every situation. Words can be vague or carry very different nuances for people from different backgrounds. Then there are the prejudices and blind spots all of us have.
Lots of confusion could be eliminated and far more progress made this week by following this simple rule: When something isn’t clear, ask. Don’t assume. Don’t guess. Don’t mind-read. Try swallowing your pride and say, “I’m not sure I understand. Do you mind explaining that to me?”
This simple strategy could save you embarrassment, time, and money. More important still, it might save one of your life’s most important relationships.
Rubel Shelly is a Preacher and Professor of Religion and Philosophy located in Rochester Hills, Michigan. In addition to church and academic responsibilities, he has worked actively with such community projects as Habitat for Humanity, American Red Cross, From Nashville With Love, Metro (Nashville) Public Schools, Faith Family Medical Clinic, and Operation Andrew Ministrie